Haiku by ES

Gee Ess thinks that

The dog kids are annoying
With their silly songs

What to know when Getting a Chicken by ES

If you are looking for a new pet to get, then chickens may be perfect for you! They lay eggs, don’t require much work, and can be very quiet! They are quickly becoming more popular in suburban backyards. If you want to know which breed to get, I would recommend reading one of my other essays: Which Chicken is Best For You? But once you know which breed to get, you’ll need to know how to take care of them.

As a chicken owner myself, I have some experience. Wherever you go to get your chickens, they will probably tell you how to care for them but if you want to know ahead of time, I can help you. Chickens don’t cost very much to care for. The chickens themselves can cost between $3-$30 depending on on a few things such as age and breed. A 50-pound bag of chicken food costs about $20. It would feed your full-grown chicken for about 33 weeks. To feed 6 chickens for a year, it costs $220.

A water container and a food container cost about $5 each. It’s good to refill their food and water almost every day. For a group of chickens, you should probably refill their food and water every day. I personally refill my chickens' water using our hose but you can use tap water, or just about any other source of clean drinking water you have access to.

The average price of a chicken coop in America is $650 though, they can cost between $300-$2,000. You will also need to put bedding on the bottom of their coop. I use pine shavings, a popular choice and low in cost. You only have to change their bedding every 6 months. Their feces are good for the soil in your backyard or garden. Letting them walk around your yard is okay, as long as you check on them occasionally. You should always make sure they have access to clean water and good food.

If you choose to get hens, they will lay a lot of eggs. You should dedicate a basket to collecting their eggs. If you are interested in getting chickens, I would heavily recommend doing so. They make great family pets or personal pets. If you would like to know more about which breed to get and more, check out my other essays. Thank you for reading!

Which Chicken Is Best for You? by ES

There are over 1,600 chicken breeds. When getting a chicken it’s important to know their pros and cons. As an owner of three wonderful hens, I wish everyone had chickens! Chickens make great pets for any family or household. They require very little maintenance, give you tons of eggs, and are super cheap! You can get a chicken for less than 10 dollars if you know what to look for. You may have heard of a few different breeds such as Welsummer and Leghorn or you may know nothing about chickens whatsoever! No matter how much you know about chickens, I’m here to tell you about some of the quietest and loudest chickens.

One of the biggest things to know about owning chickens is the difference between hens and roosters. Hens are the female chickens that lay all the eggs. Different breeds produce different amounts of eggs. Roosters are the males that are defensive over the hens. Roosters can be very mean. They’ve been known to fight hawks, dogs, and even humans! If you want to own a rooster you should only get one. They will fight with other roosters and getting seperate coops for them is a big hassle. If you want a rooster you should also have hens. Always keep in mind that if you get a rooster and a hen, they will have babies. This is one of the reasons why hens are more popular.

Now, let’s get into breeds. Some of the most popular chicken breeds for families are Orpington, Sussex, and Australorp. My hens are all Orpington chickens, so I can tell you quite a lot about them. They are one of the quietest chicken breeds and the only breed that doesn’t crow. Crowing is loud crying, which would be a little weird coming from a chicken. Within the Orpington breed, there are different colors with different names and price ranges. Orpingtons are also one of the best breeds for first time chicken owners. Other great breeds for new chicken owners are Plymouth Rock, Rhode Island Red, and Sussex.

There is one chicken breed that is slightly more significant. Silkies. Silkies are fluffy chickens that are good with kids and are relatively quiet. They do have some cons though. They don’t lay as many eggs as other breeds and can often get broody. They lay tiny, cream-colored eggs. Silkies are more susceptible to some diseases. And they have some very weird qualities. They have black skin and bones, blue earlobes and have 5 toes on each foot. Most chickens have only have 4 toes on each foot.

Leghorn, Brahma, and Wyandotte are some of the most dangerous chicken breeds that you should stay away from. The friendliest chicken breeds are the Orpington and Plymouth Rock breeds. Rhode Island Red is the most common chicken breed. The Rhode Island Red is also the most popular backyard chicken. Silkies and Sussex chickens are better for people living in the suburban area.

This essay is more of a breed guide than a care guide so, if you want to know more about taking care of whatever breed you choose I would recommend reading one of my other essays called What to Know When Getting a Chicken.

Who cares why the chicken crossed the road? The real question is, can they fly? by ES

Who cares why the chicken crossed the road? The real question is, can they fly? 

This is a topic even chicken owners disagree about. Research has been done to prove that 88% of chickens can survive falling off the highest mountain in Africa, Mount KIlimanjaro. Mount Kilimanjaro is 19,341 feet tall, so it’s pretty impressive that a 10 pound bird can survive the fall, which brings me back to my point, how is this possible? Chickens, though unable to fly upwards steadily, are able to glide long distances by flapping their wings. 

The reason these small birds can survive falling from heights of 20,000 feet is because flapping their wings helps slow their fall and since they are so small, it acts almost like a parachute. The average chicken can fly 40 or 50 feet forward though, there have been cases where chickens have flown a lot further. The record for feet glided by a chicken straight forward was just over 300 hundred feet in about 13 seconds! Some lighter breeds of chickens can jump off the ground and flap their wings just enough to get over a 6 foot fence.

Now, you may be wondering, aren't chicken owners concerned that their chickens will fly over the fence and get away? Even though that’s a great question it has a very simple answer. Chickens know where their home is and don’t want to leave it. This is because they have access to food, water, and shelter whereas, out in the wilderness they have to fight for these necessities and trust me they know about predators! The reason chickens can’t just fly onto a branch or on your roof is because their wings are too small! Chickens can weigh between 5-10 pounds when fully grown. And their flight muscles are too big and heavy. Flight muscles are in the same area shoulders are on you. Overall, chickens can’t really fly, they fall with style!

IS TAYLOR SWIFT IS GETTING MARRIED!?!?!?! by ES

As you may already know, Taylor Swift has had 12 boyfriends! But her newest relationship seems to be a lot more serious! Taylor announced a few months ago that she is great friends with Dwayne Johnson. One day she was on a walk when she saw Dwayne going on a walk with his best friend, Bob. “I could tell by the way he looked at me that it was love at first sight” claims Taylor, when asked about her relationship with Bob. Many people have reported seeing Bob and Taylor holding hands and even kissing!

“My little boy came up to me one day and said he saw Taylor Swift kissing a rock!” -Unknown 

When asked about the diamond ring on her ring finger, Taylor said she would make an announcement about it soon. Since then, she has announced publicly that she will be getting married to Bob in June 2024! Stay tuned for more news on Taylor’s love life! Bob (the future vice president) asked Dwayne which Bob was his favorite between him and Bob Ross, Dwayne said it was a hard choice. Because of Dwayne’s response, Bob has temporarily stopped contacting Dwayne. Hopefully, they will be in contact by 2024. Otherwise who knows who could be the vice president? That’s just assuming that Dwayne gets elected, which I'm sure he will, as I haven’t met a person who doesn’t idolize Dwayne. But until the next election, make sure to...

DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!!!! by ES

You may think you know the famous actor and bodybuilder, Dwayne Johnson but do you????

Over the years, he has made many appearances in movies such as: Ghostbusters, Home Alone, and even the new Barbie movie! Another appearance he will be making in the future is in the 2024 election! He will be running for president with a rock named Bob as his vice president. “Me and Bob go way back,” says Dwayne “he’s even helping me open a new hair salon! Dwayne also says he plans on growing an afro so he can be just like his idol, Bob Ross! When stay tuned for Dwayne’s next announcement!