Why I Love Softball by JS

softball
my favorite
sport. from the
pitching to even the
hitting. I love it all
so so much. you
will love it!

WAS THE 1980’S A LIE? by JS

Now, just looking at the title, I know you’re probably thinking, what do you mean? It’s literally a decade. How is it not real?’ Let me explain. My great great great great great great great great grandma’s great grandma was born in 1987. My dad was born in 1982. My dad tells me that in the 1980’s, they were very hip, but my great great great great great great great great grandma’s great grandma said that they weren’t hip. So clearly the only logical explanation is that it just wasn’t a thing. Duh!

Dinner by JS

I hate dinner. It makes me sad
And when i’m sad my sister gets mad
Then my mom starts to cry
After that, my dad yells, “my oh my”
“Stop talking, dad!”

ABC POEM by JS

As I cry, I say
Bye bye!
Could she be a dog?
Don’t get me started on hogs.
Every day they sing
Fa la la la, ring!
Go answer the phone,
Help! It’s my brother, and he’s all alone!
I can’t believe they just left him at home,
Just kidding, he just needed a comb.
Kites fly high and soar through the sky,
Little miss america, go say hi!
Mom, I don’t want to, I’m really scared.
No, she doesn’t care, she never cared.
Ow! That hurt! It’s
Poking my skirt!
Quit complaining, you’re probably fine.
Right, because you know the feelings that are MINE!
Sorry, geez don’t be mad.
Tomorrow, maybe.
Umbrella’s are rad.
Violins are sad.
Why are we talking about those things?
Xylophones go zing, zing, zing!
Yes, they do, that is a fact, also, what is your
Zodiac?

MERMAIDS ATTACK! by JS

More than 25 thousand U.S. citizens were hurt in the Attack of The Mermaids on June 16th, 2023. We are currently not sure when these monstrous creatures will attack next.

“They are destroying my crops!” states Johan Lupe.

“I obviously don't think [this is] good. Someone needs to find out what the mermaids are doing. The humans need to fight back!!” says Jeferey Pickleson. He is very passionate about this topic.

“So, in all honesty, I feel as though we should hail our new mermaid overlords. I mean, look at them, they're so pretty and can sing great. They can even fight well! I, for one, will accept the mermaids with my whole heart.” Glyph Gegs states uniquely.

“Who knows, maybe she is a mermaid under disguise. Maybe she is trying to hypnotize us. I guess we’ll never know…” Psycho Sue informs us. Do you know anyone injured by mermaids? If so, please call 312-312-3123.

BINGO by JS

There was a chant that went Bingo

B I N G O

It made Mr. Stewart want to go

B I N G NO

It made everyone scream and shout

B I N G OH

If you sang it you had to get out

B I N G NOW!

Dog Does A Backflip! by JS

Did you know dogs are 201.375% smarter than humans?

Me neither?

Do you want to know why they are so smart? You don’t? Well too bad!

A reporter in Montana, USA states that her mom’s friend’s cousin’s son’s wife’s dog did a backflip!!! He was supposedly doing his business (sorry for the fruity language) when he just jumped and did a flip. We need to keep kids away from horseback riding because the dogs are teaching the horses how to flip, too! The ponies are especially pleased. The only problem is that the horses can’t really flip fully, so they just land on their backs. Vets are seeing lots of spinal cord fractures. This is not good. If you have a dog, DO NOT let them around horses!!! Please and thank you.

Women Equality by JS

Have you ever been treated unfairly just because you’re a girl? 

Whether it’s how much you’re getting paid, to having little to no education, you probably have because around 43% of women are treated unfairly based on their gender, versus men, who are only treated this way 18% of the time Also, about 736 million women around the world experience either physical or sexual abuse. Women are supposedly “treated equally alongside men” but we all know we still have a big mountain to climb before that is true.

Adding to my point, women tend to be overqualified in their jobs. But a lot of times, women don’t apply for a job if they don’t meet all of their qualifications versus men who can apply if they meet only 60% of qualifications. So women are then forced to be a stay-at-home mom, which is fine, but then people can’t call them out for it because they can’t help it. What else are they supposed to do?

But when other women can’t apply for certain jobs, they start their own businesses (which is great! If you want to support women, definitely give women-owned businesses a try) and a study back in 2017 from American Express OPEN shows that women-owned businesses are growing over two times the national average in the past 20 years.

Plus, women score higher in leadership skills; and yet, lots of major CEO’s and CFO’s are men. Women were measured to be more capable in 84% of the skills measured. And we are super productive leaders! We work 10% harder than men in office, and even though both genders complete about 66% of tasks assigned to them, women go over the top with that and do even more because we are assigned 10% more work than men! And yet women still get mistreated for not being able to complete all work assigned, but neither can men, so don’t just blame women. And we are all human, so please treat everyone the same, whether they’re your family, or a complete stranger. Thank you for your time.

Donald Trump Turned Joe Biden Into A Pig! by JS

The government is scrambling after former president Donald Trump turns current president Joe Biden into a pig!

From behind bars, Trump pays Thomas Barrack 25 million dollars to use the HOGwand2 on Biden and Trump is being charged for murder, and Barrack is being charged for assisted murder.

“[Technically] it is murder because there is no more human soul. Joe Biden is dead.” Judge Bennett states.

“Oink! Snort!” Biden claims. He is very furious and demands doctors from all over North America to make a cure. Biden’s wife, Jill watched this tragedy unfold right in front of her. She is a witness in court, and so far is convincing the jury that Trump is guilty.