Friday, June 30, 2023

MERMAIDS ATTACK! by JS

More than 25 thousand U.S. citizens were hurt in the Attack of The Mermaids on June 16th, 2023. We are currently not sure when these monstrous creatures will attack next.

“They are destroying my crops!” states Johan Lupe.

“I obviously don't think [this is] good. Someone needs to find out what the mermaids are doing. The humans need to fight back!!” says Jeferey Pickleson. He is very passionate about this topic.

“So, in all honesty, I feel as though we should hail our new mermaid overlords. I mean, look at them, they're so pretty and can sing great. They can even fight well! I, for one, will accept the mermaids with my whole heart.” Glyph Gegs states uniquely.

“Who knows, maybe she is a mermaid under disguise. Maybe she is trying to hypnotize us. I guess we’ll never know…” Psycho Sue informs us. Do you know anyone injured by mermaids? If so, please call 312-312-3123.

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