Two of her bodyguards were sitting with her backstage when “One moment she was there, and the next she was gone!” said Bobby, her head bodyguard. They conducted a (mostly) thorough search of the concert venue before coming to the only reasonable conclusion: Lizzo had been abducted by aliens!
After the longest five minutes of their lives, the security team found Lizzo exiting the women's dressing room. But the guards quickly became suspicious when Lizzo claimed that she lost her voice in the dressing room.
“I’ll go get it for you,” said Bobby. But a (mostly) thorough search of the woman's dressing room revealed nothing but a massive, gaping hole in the ceiling. Lizzo’s esteemed security team decided that the hole looked like a spaceship.
Is Lizzo here on earth or is there an alien doppelganger fooling us all?
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